Ooh Aah Ouch!

As expected, I got a major drubbing from a lot of my friends for making them read the assortment of my various reactionary, angsty and biased views on my blog.

But guys, you have to understand that I'm a human being and I need to vent out my thoughts and feelings and reactions (read frustrations) in some way. There are a lot of reasons for my erratic behavior. Here's naming a few:

I don't go around abusing people like the recovery agents of credit card banks, who rob me daily of my money, even though I don't use their card. (It's magic, you know. They always manage to have some over due amount in my account) In fact I recently paid a bank whose card I don't even have. But do I get wild? No way.

I don't go around bashing up auto-rickshaw drivers when they appear out of no where right in front of your vehicle exactly at the time you change the gear to speed up. No, I don't.

I don't unnecessarily get angry with people who invariably manage to rub me the wrong way. (No, I don't mean literally you pervert)

To tell you the truth, I have even become very patient with the missus at home, hardly raising my voice when she demands the nth number of time that I must put my things in order or leave my plate in the sink or put the wet towel for hanging rather than on the bed or for that matter help my daughter do her homework. She is only four and she has homework? God, give me a break. Imagine.

This is what I mean. How much suffering can a man take before he's called a man? (remember the Bob Dylan song?)
What does he do? does he stop drinking with the guys once in a while ?(I mean I rarely drink in the mornings)
Does he stop ogling at beautiful women? or does he stop thinking about quitting smoking? Does he stop promising himself to go to the Gym from tomorrow? or does he just stop snoring in the night? Come on, isn't all this asking for too much?

All these restrictions, all these compulsions, all these frustrations. Where does one take them out?
On the Blog.
Thank God for this internet and the blogging business.

So all you guys out there wanting to bash me up, please, relax and chill because I'm just a frustrated, intolerable guy who has nothing better to do with his frustrations and anger and time and so I write everything down on my blog.

By the way, Om Shanti Om is a great movie and I'm going to watch it again and again and again. and I loved Sawariyaa too and I know I'm going to just love Goal and Aaja Nachle and for that matter Munna Pandey Berozgaar. So there!

Ouch! (awright, stop hitting I'm sorry)

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Gobblydegook!!!

It's been long...very long...
The words seem garbled, the thoughts, warped. It's like visiting an old friend after years and not knowing how to start a conversation. It feels like going out on a blind date with a totally incompatible person. The awkward silence, the awkward moments are embarrassing, to say the least. What would my blogger friends feel? How would they react? Surely this is not what they expect of me, or am I just kidding myself?
‘Come on buddy, there are so many things to write about’, ‘Watch the news, read the newspapers’, ‘Watch the sports channels, watch the saas bahu sagas for God’s sake and you’ll get your idea’, are just some of the suggestions I got.
Nothing seemed to work. I mean, how much can one take of President Bush and Al Qaeda? Or for that matter President Kalam reciting one of his poems? The farmers are still committing suicide, Tulsi is still reigning the TV(1) slots although I have heard she has quit the show. Yash Chopra produced yet another inane film and called it a super hit, even before it hit the cinema halls. Ram Gopal Verma, on last count, was still confused of whether he wanted to remake Sholay, Sarkar or James part three. Amitabh Bachchan is an official farmer now and Abhishek and Aishwarya have done what they had to with absolute simplicity and totally discretion. (So what if they spent crores on trying to keep it simple-so what if the media from the whole world was covering it?) Shahrukh Khan is still the undisputed super star of the world, even when three of his films bombed at the BO. Sachin and Saurav have proved that they can still bat, so what if it was against Bangladesh? (They are the one who sent us packing at the World Cup, remember?)
Bob Woolmer’s death became more mysterious when it was declared that he died of natural causes. Imagine the guts of the Carribean police force to make such a statement. They must contact Ms Ekta Kapoor, for if they can spin such a yarn, then boss, Ekta wants you! Don’t be surprised if they declare, tomorrow that Bob Woolmer was actually alive and living in disguise in the West Indies. (Sorry Bob, may your soul rest in peace. Your death was not fair and the ensuing ‘tamasha’ around it, is downright disgusting)(**)

Well, so what exactly is new(s) today? What’s that one thing that has hit the world hard? Is it Global Warming? Third World War? Laloo Prasad creating history by generating profit for the railways? What? It makes me wonder whether all this is real or are they just taking us all for a big ride? No one knows. No one cares.

Well, I guess, it’s better to take refuge in the words of good ole’ Abe… ‘You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time." ~Abraham Lincoln

I have no idea what this has to do with anything. I also have no idea of what I’ve just written. But then, who cares! You are still reading this right? See! I was right. People buy anything and everything.

He he he he he!!


(1)Television is where you watch people in your living room that you would not want near your house." ~Groucho Marx
(**) Absolute truth is a very rare and dangerous commodity in the context of professional journalism." ~Hunter S. Thompson

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