Men-Women Jokes And Gags

‘Men are from Mars and women are from Venus’ - whoever said this confused many people like me. ‘Men are like chalk and cheese’- Well, now this I understand. Read the articles below and you will surely get the drift. 

Funny Articles	Visual Men- Women Jokes
18 Rules Guys Wish Girls Knew	Interesting Ways To Murder Husband
Women Are Dumb	Women Drivers- Really Funny
Men Make Better Friends
Saying The Write Thing At Right Time
Funny Joke Men & Women
5 Toughest Questions For Married Men
Women’s Day Special

Reasons Why Men Are Always Happy:

• They get to keep their last names
• They never get pregnant
• Phone conversations last 30 seconds flat
• A 5 day vacation requires only 1 suitcase or probably a back pack
• If someone forgets to invite him, he/she can still be his friend
• The same hairstyle lasts for years or even decades
• They only have to shave only the face and neck
• They can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on 24th December in 25 minutes flat.
• They don’t freak out when they go to a party and see someone else wearing the same shirt. Instead they become buddies.

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Employee Of The Year Awards

Visual Joke

(Employee Of The Year Awards)

Every company small or big has an award for the best employee of the year. Below we present the winners for the employee of the year award (male) & (Female).

This is unanimous boss- the employee of the year award goes to this person. What dedication.

Best Employee Of The Year Award (Male)

Best Employee Of The Year Award (Female)

There are actually many reasons why someone would be so desperate.
1. They Screwed up badly with their deadline
2. They are internet addicts.
3. They are habitual potty newspaper readers who have started believing in a paperless world.
4. They do not have a life. Period.
These people need to get a life NOW…:)
Click Below to go to More Visual Jokes On This Blog:
All Visual Jokes Articles

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Run Out Of Gas? No Problem

Visual Joke

This old man clearly has something in him. Maybe he should get his pee patented. Imagine how much everyone will save on fuel if everyone could run their cars on piss. Genius! Simply genius!

For More Visual Jokes Click On Links Below:

All Visual Jokes

 

For Comic Strips Click on Below Link:

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Women Drivers-Really Funny

Men do not criticize women drivers for nothing. Check out the photos below and you shall see why. Guys please I want lots of comments. Thanks. Girls, women, you too please…fight fight, comment…comment…

Related Keywords and search words for women drivers on Google Search:

bad women drivers, women drivers crash, women drivers demotivational, women drivers hilarious, women drivers famous, women drivers video, women drivers cute, women drivers joke, women drivers flash, women drivers cartoon, stupid woman driver, men drivers funny, women drivers humorous, women driving funny, women drivers good

Go to All Articles on Visual Jokes

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Interesting Ways To Murder Your Husband

This article is for all those wives who want to kill their husbands but don’t know how. It was sent to me by a very dear female friend. Just to prove how sporting we men are, I'm willing to share this funny and interesting methods to kill one's husband. So all ya women out there...enjoy!

Below are some really innovative and interesting ways to kill your husband.

Probably the best method. Put a label of ‘Viagra’ on a bottle which contains ‘Poison’ or ‘Cyanide’. Men never read further than the main label on any bottle. Considering the psychological effect on men of even reading ‘Viagra’ on the bottle, chances are that he might even perform better in bed before dying. hehehe!

This is the second best method in the list. Men never wake up when the alarm rings, they almost, always try to put it off. This poisoned injection should easily put the man off forever.

This one is especially for husbands who smoke. Cheap, effective and bang! One round of bullet as soon as he lights up.

This one is for the Internet addict.

Gruesome way…truly gruesome…but if you hate your husband that much then he deserves it probably.

For the Golf Addict. So the next time you go out to play golf without telling your wife, then beware, ‘cos there could be just a land mine under your balls.

Click link for More Visual Jokes

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Humor- Jokes For All

1. Regular naps prevent old age... especially if you take them while
driving.

2. Having one child makes you a parent; having two makes you a referee.

3. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and
the other is the husband!

4. They said we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they
wanted cash.

5. A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've
purchased new school uniforms.

6. Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.

7. Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you
cannot live without... but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.

8. You can't buy love . . but you pay heavily for it.

9. Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for hurting me.

10. Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

11. Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get
tired.

12. My girlfriend and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she
agrees with me.

13. Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

14. Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.

15. It doesn't  matter how often a married man changes his job, he
still ends up with the same boss.

16. They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom
gets to speak.

17. Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it
for you.

18. Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk
because they have to say something.

19. Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address
book.

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Women's Day Special

In the world of romance, one single rule applies: i.e Make the woman happy, no questions asked.

* Do something she likes & you get points.
* Do something she dislikes & points are subtracted.
* You don't get any points for doing something she expects!!
Sorry, that's the way the game is played...

Simple Duties
-------------
You take out the Garbage.............+1
You take out the garbage after the kachre wala leaves.............-1
You clean the dishes after eating..................+1
You leave dishes in the sink.......................................-1
You leave them under the bed.......................................-5

You leave the toilet seat up.......................................-1
You leave the toilet seat up in the middle of the night
(and she's pregnant)..............................................-20

You check out a suspicious noise at night...........................0
You check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing...................0
You check out a suspicious noise and it's something................+5
You pummel it with a six iron.....................................+10
It's her father...................................................-10

Social Engagements
-----------------
You stay by her side the entire party...............................0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with
a college buddy....................................................-2
...named Mona......................................................-4
When mingling, you hold your mate's hand and gaze at her lovingly..+1
When mingling, you introduce her as "the ol' Ms Snob, remember?'
and pat her on the rump............................................-5

Flowers
-------
You buy her flowers only when it's expected.........................0
You don't buy her flowers when it's expected......................-10
You buy her flowers as a surprise..................................+5
You give wild flowers you've actually picked yourself.............+10
And she gets a rash because she is allergic....................................-25

Driving
-------
You lose the directions on a trip..................................-4
You lose the directions and end up getting lost....................-10
You end up getting lost in a bad part of town.....................-15
You get lost in a bad part of town and meet
the locals up close and personal..................................-25
She finds out you lied about having a black belt..................-60

Wish her on Women's Day.........+100

:-)

Happy Women's Day...

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