Funny India- Humor In Pictures

India is a varied nation with a vast expanse of culture and religions mingling with each other. These are some of the funniest images depicting India as it really is. Enjoy!

Check out more Funny India Photos and Pictures.

Check out Funny Visual Jokes

Click below link to view Extremely Funny Videos, Commercials and Stand Up Comedy.

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Very Funny Interview Of A Doctor- Dont Miss It

I love this Doctor

I found this amazing interview of a Doctor- this one is for all those fitness freak douchebags who think they can walk and talk forever... read on...

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn.
And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient
mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken.
Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! ..... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil . In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q : Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
And remember:

'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention
of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body,
but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO, What a Ride!'

AND.....

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION

Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

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Social Awareness Ads Created On Photoshop

This is when I first learnt about Photoshop. These ads were created while learning how to use Photoshop. (You shall see the amateurish work). But the thoughts behind these social awareness adverts are quite original. Please comment on what you think about them in the comments section. Thanks. 

You can click on the pictures to view larger versions and feel free to download and circulate if you like them.

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Wish I Was Calvin Again...

Wish I was Calvin again. I miss my Hobbes. Oh! how I wish to go back in time and relive the moments of my childhood, how I wish I could just transmogrify the whole world as I wanted it to be.
I always identified with Calvin as a child (I suppose you could say I still do). Constantly feeling out of sync with the rest of the world, and thus retreating to the world you create for yourself in your mind. This strip reminds me of my current state of mind. I want to do something but there is this gnawing feeling somewhere, which restricts my every move, which stops me from going all out.
Oh, how I wish I was Calvin again!
Going to school every day and seeing all the ways we didn't fit in, being constantly in denial mode, trying everything not in the book to get out of uncomfortable situations(and bearing the brunt of the cane for it), creating your own world to retreat into after the world has ignored you, being constantly intrigued by the absolute stupid endeavours of adults, not understanding war, not even trying to understand the absolutely unfathomable, disgusting habit of putting a burning stick at the end of your mouth and throwing out smoke(the smoke was fascinating though, but the fire was not). Too many questions and very few answers was the constant irritation as one struggled to try and understand the adult world.
(Sigh)


I was assured that once I grow up, I would have answers to all of the questions. They lied. I still don't have the answers. I still don't know. They were wrong. They tricked me. They made me believe that the world I will inherit would be like a fairy tale world, full of fairys and angels and Santa Claus. They promised I could have everything when I grew up. They promised me Utopia.
(Sigh)
Nothing is what was promised, nothing is what I had dreamt of. Nothing.
I wish I could tell my children the real truth: I wish I could tell them that....

1. Life is not fair. Get used to it.
2. The real world won't care as much about your self-esteem as your school does. It'll expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself.
3. Sorry, you won't be able to transmogrify yourself into the vice president of a company.
4. If you think your teacher is tough, wait 'till you get a boss. He doesn't have tenure, so he tends to be a bit edgier. When you screw up, he is not going to ask you how you feel about it.
5. It's not your parents' fault. If you screw up, you are responsible. This is the flip side of "It's my life," and "You're not the boss of me," and other eloquent proclamations of your generation.
6. Before you were born your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way paying your bills, cleaning up your room and listening to you tell them how idealistic you are.
7. Life is not about unit tests and exams and you don't get summers off, nor a Diwali vacation. They expect you to show up every day. It just goes on and on.
8. Television is not real life. You cannot just vent your anger by putting Tom in a shredder machine or setting fire to his tail, to get rid of him.
9. Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.
10. Enjoy this while you can. Sure, parents are a pain, school's a bother, and life is depressing. But someday you'll realize how wonderful it was to be kid.

booohoooohoooo!!!
I want to be Calvin again.

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18 Rules Every Man Wishes Girls Knew

Here are some rules that guys wished that every Girl knew...

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
2. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if he can find the perfect present!
3. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
4. Sometimes, he's not thinking about you. Live with it.
5. Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's just like every other cat.
6. Dogs are better than ANY cats. Period.
7. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
8. Shopping is not a sport.
9. Anything you wear is fine. Really.
10. You have enough clothes.
11. You have too many shoes.
12. Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't expect us to like it.
13. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.
14. No, he doesn't know what day it is. He never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
15. Your Mom doesn't have to be our best friend.
16. Don't give us 50 rules when 25 will do.
17. If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
18. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are.

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An Interesting Story... Very Interesting

A very good friend sent this story to me. I found it really interesting. Read on....

An interesting story...

At the 1994 annual awards dinner given for Forensic Science, AAFS President Dr. Don Harper Mills astounded his audience with the legal complications of a bizarre death.

Here is the story: On March 23, 1994 the medical examiner viewed the body of Ronald Opus and concluded that he died from a shotgun wound to the head. Mr. Opus had jumped from the top of a ten-storey building intending to commit suicide. He left a note to the effect indicating his despondency.

As he fell past the ninth floor his life was interrupted by a shotgun blast passing through a window, which killed him instantly. Neither the shooter nor the deceased was aware that a safety net had been installed just below the eighth floor level to protect some building workers and that Ronald Opus would not have been able to complete his suicide the way he had planned.

“Ordinarily,” Dr Mills continued, “A person who sets out to commit suicide and ultimately succeeds, even though the mechanism might not be what he intended, is still defined as committing suicide.” That Mr. Opus was shot on the way to certain death, but probably would not have been successful because of the safety net, caused the medical examiner to feel that he had a homicide on his hands.

The room on the ninth floor, where the shotgun blast emanated, was occupied by an elderly man and his wife. They were arguing vigorously and he was threatening her with a shotgun. The man was so upset that when he pulled the trigger he completely missed his wife and the pellets went through the window striking Mr. Opus.

When one intends to kill subject “A” but kills subject “B” in the attempt, one is guilty of the murder of subject “B.” When confronted with the murder charge the old man and his wife were both adamant and both said that they thought the shotgun was unloaded. The old man said it was a long-standing habit to threaten his wife with the unloaded shotgun. He had no intention to murder her. Therefore the killing of Mr. Opus appeared to be an accident; that is, if the gun had been accidentally loaded.

The continuing investigation turned up a witness who saw the old couple’s son loading the shotgun about six weeks prior to the fatal accident. It transpired that the old lady had cut off her son’s financial support and the son, knowing the propensity of his father to use the shotgun threateningly, loaded the gun with the expectation that his father would shoot his mother.
Since the loader of the gun was aware of this, he was guilty of the murder even though he didn’t actually pull the trigger. The case now becomes one of murder on the part of the son for the death of Ronald Opus. Now comes the exquisite twist.

Further investigation revealed that the son was, in fact, Ronald Opus. He had become increasingly despondent over the failure of his attempt to engineer his mother’s murder. This led him to jump off the ten-storey building on March 23rd, only to be killed by a shotgun blast passing through the ninth storey window. The son had actually murdered himself so the medical examiner closed the case as a suicide.

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Mumbai Devastated:

This was an article written by me just after the 26th November attack on Mumbai. Today, not much has changed. The anger remains, the tut, tut, tuts are the same, the reactions are the same. I don't even have to add anything to my article which I had written almost 3 years ago. :'-(




Today, almost 2 days after the terrorists held Mumbai City to ransom, one can feel a sense of gloom in the air. As the motor bike moves through scantily crowded roads towards the highway, the first thing that came to mind was to turn back into the safe haven of home. What has happened to me? I’m a Mumbaikar.
I have jogged in its streets, played cricket in its lanes, I’m a Mumbaikar; I’m resilient; I have the spirit of Bombay in my blood. How can I feel like this? The ‘Spirit of Bombay’, ‘Resilience’, ‘Bouncing back’, are terms which seem so irrelevant today, these words sound so ‘unMumbaikar’. What has happened to my Mumbai? It breaks my heart to see things today which one does not usually associate with Mumbai.

Why is there an eerie silence on the roads today? Why have the people stopped honking unnecessarily? Why is there no traffic jam on the roads? Hey, why is that traffic cop not taking a bribe from that guy who broke the signal? Why are the cops manning the check posts and the nakabandi not looking mean anymore? Why is the local panwallah not his chirpy self today? What has happened to my Mumbai today?

Was this attack supposed to be a wake up call for Mumbai? But don’t they say that Mumbai never sleeps? Or was it all just a way of romanticizing the city? Were we not asleep all this while? How does one explain all this? So many people have used and abused Mumbai, so many people have managed to traumatize Mumbai, so many people…
Be it some insane politician like Raj Thackeray or Bal Thackeray before him, or the local police, or the underworld, or the terrorists, Mumbai has always been used and abused. They say Mumbai will bounce back as usual. Mumbai has a spirit, it is said. But does this give them the liberty to take Mumbai for granted?

‘Stay calm’, ‘We have to be united’, ‘We will look into the matter’, ‘We give our heartfelt condolences to the dead’, ‘We will treat these terrorists as terrorists’, ‘These things happen in a big city’, ‘We will talk to Pakistan’- all these statements were heard over the last 2 days from various people, politicians mostly, to which I have this to say,
‘No, we will not stay calm’,

‘No we will not be united for the simple reason that we have always been united-Who are you to assume that we are divided?’
‘We know what the matter is, sir. We do not need an explanation’,

‘Thank you sir, for treating terrorists as terrorists- now we know why they have so much courage to enter the city at will and bomb it from time to time- they know they will be treated like a hero who will be allowed to meet relatives and given home food because if you don’t then there are people from the human right associations who will make sure that they are treated like heroes.’

‘Yes, Mr Politician, these things happen in a big city and probably will continue to happen especially if the city is continued to be governed by people like you.’

‘Thank you, but no thank you, sir. We do not want you to ‘talk’, we want you to show some guts. We have been talking and talking and talking and look what we have achieved. We do not want more buses or trains or anyone coming from Pakistan or someone going from here to Pakistan.

We need action. Isn’t there anyone in this country’s leaders who have the guts and intelligence to counter this problem? Then why don’t you please contact Mr Bush from America because whatever one may say about that country and his policies and decisions but today after 9/11, there has been not even a single incident of such an attack. The people there feel safe, dear sir, safe.’

We do not want to be called a sissy country. We do not want to be a soft target for terrorists just because the people in power are gutless and heartless who can think of only votes, votes and more votes so that they can squeeze the citizens for 5 more years. I heard some politician was also contemplating whether they should be having a party meeting to discuss if they want to call for a bandh in the city. Imagine!

Enough, Enough, Enough!

Today no one can understand Mumbai more than the people who have lived here all their lives. No one can understand Mumbai as much as the people who knew it as Bombay. We have taken shit from all and sundry. But not anymore.

I want my Bombay back. Yes, Bombay- not Mumbai or any other name that the politicians want to force me to accept for my beloved city. Would you accept it, Mr Thackeray if tomorrow people start calling you ‘Kalu Yadav’?

No, you wouldn’t accept it. Think about it. That’s exactly how ridiculous the name change for Bombay is too.
I want to call my city Bombay and no one can stop me.

I want my Bombay back. Not the one where people honk without a reason, not the Bombay where traffic cops take a bribe for an offence, not a Bombay where the roads have always been bad since I was not even born, not a Bombay which is taken for granted by its politicians and terrorist abettors. Maybe this IS a wake up call for Bombay, maybe this IS a blessing in disguise, maybe this is what will bring about change in the city, maybe this IS what was required by India as a whole to open their eyes and look into the mirror and ask questions to itself- maybe this IS what was required to ‘awaken’ Bombay.

Bombay has been finally put to sleep by the terrorists. Hope it does not put it to rest in the coming future.
Time to wake up Bombay.

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Visual Jokes- All Articles

Here's a list of some visual jokes I come across the internet from time to time or sometimes it is friends who send them as mails or blackberry messages, etc... I find them really funny...hope you do too.

List of All Visual Jokes

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Funny Advertisements & TV Commercials

This is really funny. I Found it on YouTube. Just check it out.

Click for More Visual Jokes

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Happy Valentine’s Day- Definition Of Love By Calvin & Hobbes

Valentine’s Day And Love From The Eyes Of Calvin & Hobbes

Here’s wishing all of you a very Happy Valentine’s Day.
What is love? Look at the comic strips below to learn about it all from none other than Calvin & Hobbes. These are some of the gems from Bill Watterson, the creator of Calvin & Hobbes.
Click on the strips to view enlarged versions. Click on the link to go to Calvin & Hobbes Home Page 

Click on the Comic Strip to view enlarged version.

Click To View Calvin & Hobbes Home Page

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